"I" sexual fantasies understanding. To Self-love lessons


Quiet secrets, dirty dreaming, sexual desire – regardless of whether we act them out or not, sexual fantasies are completely normal. I believe many of us admit to having one, two or even more, of our own, they could be more common than you’d think too.


 Sexual Fantasies? What are they?


You should think of sexual fantasies as a full spectrum of sexual self-exploration. They can come to us in lots of ways, from silent erotic thoughts to being aroused by reading a book or watching our hottest scenarios play out through the visuals of pornography– and the type of fantasy? Yes, it might be different scenarios too. It's like all aspects of our intimate life, our fantasies are entirely individual and can be as diverse as we are as human beings. Some of the fantasies include power use, role play, BDSM and bondage, gangbang or threesomes and etc.


Sometimes, intimate fantasies can take us by surprise. Ever told someone you’re not particularly "dirty", only to find yourself daydreaming about getting freaky with the frisky?

There’s no shame in feeling energized by something you find erotically and sexually exciting. Even when those fantasies blur the lines or seem too taboo to share, there’s one real rule to playing safely.

If your fantasy fits to frame within of safe, sane and consensual, it’s harmless to indulge in a little sexual escapism.


Explore Sexual Fantasies


Thinking and speaking about our sexual fantasies is a healthy thing to do, but many of us can feel shy in discovering what really fires us up. It could be that you’ve never given your subconscious sexual mind the credit it deserves or have been quite conservative about what gets you turns on.


If you’re just beginning your trip into fantasyland, there are three ways to discover your sexual muse.


Find the Inspiration


Watching pornography, reading an erotic book, listening to a super-hot Spotify playlist or talking dirty with your partner can all be perfect ways to get those more sexual fantasies fired up. Even a light discussion with a friend about it.


Spare a bit of time, to stay Alone with your own Minds


Yes, the classic one "Let's Masturbate" road. No, really, really… go masturbate, take your time! Spending some time alone with your thoughts can stir up all kinds of feelings. Starting with intense arousal to slow seduction, playing with yourself and your kinks is a healthy way to explore you deeper, silent fantasies in the confinement of your own frames.


Let's play the game


Are you lost in what fantasies there even are to discover? There are lots to choose from! Write out around 10 or 20 sexual fantasies onto slips of paper – then play a game with your partner. You could choose to put each slip into a balloon and then take turns popping the balloons one by one to reveal the fantasy inside. These are fun ways to engage with one another without feeling too much pressure in revealing your intimate desires.



“I" sexual fantasies understanding


Our sexual fantasies are an extension of who we are, but of course, sometimes, we can become ashamed about sharing them or exploring them. This is mostly due to we don’t really understand them. When you know what your intimate fantasies are and why they arouse you, it becomes less scary to enjoy them.


Fantazies and Reality


Sometimes fantasies are just, fantasies. They hunt our minds and never go out into the open, and that’s absolutely fine. Comparing your fantasy to reality, frames and physical limitations of reality can help you verify whether your saucy secret is one you want to reveal or act out.

You should ask yourself “is this something you wish really like to experience?” and “Could this hurt someone or me if I act it out?” to determine whether your fantasies should become a reality.


Few Steps to Make Your Secret Intimate Fantasies Reality


Discuss With Your Partner


Ready to take your fantasies from mind to action? Just make sure you have an informed and open conversation with your 2nd part before making the dream a reality. Ensure you’re both on the same page, both equally enthusiastic, consenting and ready to discover new fields.


Set Your Frames


It may be that you both are seeking to experiment but setting frames and knowing each other’s comfort levels is important to enjoying your fantasies together. Take note of each other’s feelings and check in with one another. Even if you are single and want to discover your sexual fantasies, you should never feel pressured into doing anything that might make you feel uncomfortable.


Present the Toys


Toys can be a perfect way to begin the trip into your own sexual fantasy land. Life-like masturbators can imitate the real thing without risking emotional threats. Fetish toys like hammers, whips, canes and restraints are ideal for experimenting with power-play and living out those imaginative BDSM scenarios.


Role Play


If your fantasies involve being someone else or being with someone else – role-play is a fantastic way to spice up your magical moments. Try slipping into a sexy secretary costume to act out that dirty office scene or pull out the cuffs for a risky game of cops and robbers.


Stay safe and protect your privacy


At first, when playing with your fantasies – stay safe. From using physical protection like condoms and contraceptives to using safe words as and when needed. If your fantasies include sexting or being involved in any way online, remember you don’t have to reveal your full identity. Protect your privacy by only sharing what you are truly comfortable with.

Kind regards,


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